The people that got us through

This is a post I have been reluctant to write. I knew this day was coming and I had a plan. Blogging is something that I love to do. Apparently over the last 2 years I have been told that I've (we've) helped so many people. I'm glad that I could share some wisdom, humor and support to those touched by adoption. I think that is what makes this difficult.

We have decided to close this chapter in our lives. Keeping up with 2 blogs is difficult. I love the extra comments our faithful readers leave, but I am spending too much time at the computer and the warmer weather is quickly approaching.

This place, and Adoption Adventure, are all about our story to bring a child into our home. Now that he is here I feel ready to take on that new roll of mama. Sure, I've been a mama for 6 months now, but at some point you go from adoptive mama to just plain ol' mom. This is where I am now.

So why did I pick today to end this chapter? One year ago today we sat in a small purple room in our house and heard news that would forever change our lives. One year ago today we lost Alexander. It felt as if our entire world had come crashing down around us.

One year later I hear the quiet sound of my son sleeping. I see toys scattered about my house. I am wearing a tattered sweatshirt and am lucky that I combed my hair this morning. From my vantage point I see photos of my beautiful little boy plastered on a bulletin board by my desk. Quietly tucked away within those photos is one of a little boy whom we grew to love. A little one who lives in Russia with a forever family. One who never has to wake up in an orphanage again. His little eye peeks out from behind another photo as if to tell me, I remember you and I won't forget you either.

I still grieve for that little boy. I miss him terribly and on occasion I get the feeling of, "I lost my son." I will never forget his little face or his big brown eyes. But I know that he is happy. He has a family to love and care for him. That is what helped me get past his loss.

If it were not for Alexander we would have not made it through the months of waiting. In all likelihood we would have given up. We would have never met Oleg. Today I honor the little boy we lost. I look at the little boy that has become our son and smile. Because of one we have the other. I love them both so much.

I want to thank all of our faithful readers over the last 2 years. Does this mean we will quit blogging. Oh no. You should know better than that. It just means that there will be no more new Unexpected Miracles posts. This isn't to say that the unexpected miracle may never come our way again.

We invite you to come with us on our journey of parenthood. You can find my (Elle's) take on it at Life of Elle (no password required). Or you can follow Derek's ramblings on pointing out people's stupidity at Protesting Stupidity.

If you want more information about Russian adoption, our journey or our transition to parenthood you can always email me at elle@lifeofelle.com