The people that got us through

One would think I would be ecstatic about that whole Mother's Day thing. Sure... I am somebody's mom. As Caroline puts it, I am the mothering kind of person. I am the "mother" to Fat and Dumb. But all of that does not make this upcoming day any easier.

I distinctly recall last years Mother's Day. We had recently found out that 3 of my very good girlfriends were pregnant (for the 2nd time or accidentally.) All of them due within 3 weeks of each other. Let's just say I was jealous. Little A's referral was very fresh for us. We had the photo for all of 2 weeks. I was excited that I finally had a face and a name to put with all of those prayers for "my child." I wanted people to dote on me. I wanted to be in that "expectant mothers club." I received cards from a few people, but D got busy and it somehow went a little over looked.

I brought up my disappointment to him. To which he said, "I'll be right back." He returns 30 minutes later with a beautiful pink hanging basket. "Mom's deserve pink," he tells me. I held on to that basket until the bitter end of its life. In fact I think it is still sitting in the side yard. Dead, but still there.

This year I find myself sitting back and remembering my thoughts of "next year I will have my child in my arms." I never thought I would have to go through another Mother's Day without a little face to wake up to.

At the same time I have Pickle. This little boy had stolen my heart. The photos and videos we have of him nearly bring me to tears every time I see them. He is just that special. I have had the opportunity to hold him in my arms and he is real. Not just a photo.

I am trying very hard to be happy this Mother's Day. It helps that I do get to spend it with my Mom. Without this lady I would not be the woman I am today. She is the strongest and most determined woman I know.

So to all of you, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day.