The people that got us through

It seems that we have become an example. There are quite a few reasons that people happen to follow our blog. Some of you relate to us because you are also in the process of adopting from Russia. Some visit because you are family or dear friends. Others are here trying to learn more information about the process of international adoption and in particular, Russia. A few of you just think we are darn funny. But there are some that see us as an example. An example of the problems surrounding the Russian adoption system.

While it is true the system is flawed, we don't want to be that kind of example. I could give you reasons why the US system is flawed. Reasons why we decided not to adopt from another country. I could cite regulations put on other foreign governments that cause me to steer clear of them. One thing I wouldn't do is single any one family out just to say, "this is why not to go there."

The last 15 months have been the most challenging in my life. I can say it has been more difficult than being a newlywed at age 20. More stressful than any single day in our marriage over the last near 10 years. We have been through so much. Much of which I never wish on my worst enemy. But through it all we have learned from each and every day. We have come to love one another more, have grown in our personal faith and have met people that we are blessed to call our true friends. What is more important is that we have been blessed with the two most wonderful little boys in the world.

The heartbreak caused by losing little A will never go away. I have come to accept that. I will continue to miss him every day of my life. But through that lost we have found the child that we hope will be coming home to us.

Yes the Russian system is flawed. There should be no reason for enduring waits. There is no reason that nearly 700,000 children should languish in poverty stricken orphanages. But that is a foreign system. We cannot do anything to change it lest we further the stereotype of "ugly Americans" butting in where we are not wanted.

The example I want to set is that of faith and perserverance. True there are problems with Russian adoption, but please don't single me out as the poster child. Do your homework. On me, on this system. Make the decision that is best for your family. If you are not able to handle an extreme emotional roller coaster than this country may not be for you.

If asked if we would do another Russian adoption, what would my answer be? I would say it depends on the situation. There are many options available to us as far as expanding our family goes. Russia is dear to my heart, but so are so many other countries.

I have tried my hardest over the last 15 months to help other families. I try to be as honest as possible when people ask me questions about international adoption. I would never tell you the process is 100% rosey. It is hard. It tears you up inside. The stress does horrible things to your body. Is it worth it? Yes. Every lost hair, every lost pound, every tear shed. I would do it again.