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Saturday, July 22, 2006
How to travel to Russia and meet your child for the first time
In honor of Jen who is returning home from her very first trip to Russia I thought I would give a little wisdom to those of you just starting the process. There are a few of you out there. I may have posted something like this before, but if you are anything like me, too lazy to go find it, this will be handy. I figure I have been through the first trip twice so I sorta know what I am talking about. This will also be geared for the family that may have never traveled abroad either. As our trip to Russia last June was our first time out of North America.
traveling to Russia
- Don't forget your passport and Visa. This may be a big duh, but you do need a Visa to enter the country of Russia. Someone should have told that to the guys on our plane the second time around.
- Don't over pack. There are some great packing lists out there. The one thing you do not need is a bottle of laundry soap on your first trip. You aren't going to be there long enough and all it does is add weight.
- Do take a snack. Something small, lightweight and that you really really like. We took Goldfish crackers. Some for me and some for the boy. Don't take water. They have it in the stores.
- Learn as much of the Russian alphabet as possible. The language is phonetic so if you know the letters you can sound out words. Cafe in Russian is Cafe.
- Learn the polite words. Please, thank you, and I don't speak Russian. This phrase comes in handy in restaurants, groceries and pharmacies.
- Be aware that many signs outside of Moscow (and maybe St. Petersburg) are in Russian. English signs are becoming more common, but this is just one more reason to learn the alphabet.
- Don't drink the water from the tap. Don't get ice in a fountain drink and order water "with gas" in a restaurant. If you order flat water in a restaurant you run the risk of them refilling a bottle of water from the tap. I will admit I lived life on the wild side and did not order gassed water. I survived, but I guess I am lucky.
- Russians don't smile. Plain and simple.
- It is inevitable that you will stick out. I am very honest when I say don't even try to dress like a Russian. Women primarily look like supermodels and really dress the part. Spike heals, very short skirts and tight tops. Even if you are super thin with legs up to your chin the second you open your mouth they will know you are American. The only people I have seen pull off the non-American are Kathou and Paypay. They speak French.
- Be open minded. Remember you are a guest in their country and it is not America. The food, language and general culture are vastly different than your own. Don't make rude faces. Be appreciative of your time there. This is your child's heritage. It will soon become part of yours too.
Visiting your child for the first time
- You will be nervous the very first time. Also a big duh, but just know that it is natural.
- Many Russian orphanages are very soviet style buildings. Quite institutional looking. They may appear ugly on the outside, but often times inside they are brightly painted.
- The inside of a Baby Home has a very distinct odor. I have been in 2 and they smelled the same. It is a combination of the food they feed them and wet child.
- Baby Homes often don't have the money to diaper every child. They usually diaper them when parents come to visit.
- Don't wear black or very dark colors when meeting your child for the first time. This is especially true for babies. Caregivers and doctors wear white lab coats and white scarves on their heads. Dark colors can frighten children
- If you are married, your husband will likely be the first man your child ever sees. The majority of Orphanage workers are women. They may be scared, but this is normal.
- Bring a chewable photo album with photos of your immediate family, close family and your child's room. They typically let you leave it with your child.
- Buy a disposable camera to leave with the caregivers too. It is a great way for you to get photos of your child. Be aware that they will probably use it right before you get there and the photos will likely be all from one day.
- Bring little treats like Goldfish crackers and Gerber Puffs. These are good icebreakers. Make sure to ask if you can feed the child these. Some caregivers are very particular.
- Be patient. Your child may cry or not warm up to you at first or at all. They are not used to one on one attention. This is all part of the attachment process.
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"Pray to God, but continue to row toward shore." -Russian Proverb
When meeting your referral:
--Assign one person to ask all the questions/take notes when you speak with the babyhouse doctor and social worker. In our case we had our referral with us each time, so one of us kept her entertained while the other made sure all areas of questions were addressed. If traveling alone, ask to speak with them once the child is back in their groupa so you can focus all your attention on the discussion.
--Bring several small toys with you for the visit; with younger children, refrain from noisy, battery operated items as they may frighten them. A ball, bubbles, book, small stuffed animal...things like these are great ice breakers with the child
--Be ready to lose your heart when you meet your referral. We said we would not "get attached" until we had filed all the paperwork to adopt her. Ha! Within 5 minutes we were goners.....so much for much "emotional detachment"
Oh, and I forgot the disposable camera too! Something I really had wanted to do. I plan to take it though on the next trip, and I'll leave it with them during the 10-day-wait.
Great news and thanks for the tips.
Serena
LOVE the great post!
Sometimes Cafe is КаФе. Ресторан is restraunt.Аптека is a pharmacy, not an antique store, and will have everything from diapers to mosquito repellent to Rx drugs that don't need an Rx...
SoFlaMom