The people that got us through

Someone posting as Cat made a comment on CS's last post that was chocked full of questions. We have received many of these questions from other people in various comments or emails. I thought I would take the time to answer them.

Before I do, I want to say thank you for all of your kind comments. We are doing ok. I won't say fantastic or well. Ok seems to be a pretty apt description for the moment. We seem to do the best when we are together. Shocking huh? I know this is at least the case for me. We did go on a date the other night. Did you know there are these big buildings with lots of seats and giant screens that serve overly expensive snack and show movies? I had never heard of such a concept. Seriously, the movie selection as of late has been rather poor, but we did make it to the theater to see Superman. I thought is was good despite the fact that I have never seen any of the Christopher Reeve ones. Please don't think less of me.

So back to the mail bag:

What is your agency telling you why the medical clearance letters for some children are being signed while others are rejected?

Pickle's medical release letter is not being rejected. The committee that signs the form is currently undergoing a personnel change and won't sign the letter until all the members are in place.

Why was there a delay in getting the medical release letter signed in the first place?

Remember me saying earlier that Pickle needed surgery? Well he had the surgery and everything went fine, but because of the surgery there was a delay in getting the release signed. Then the committee went with their little personnel change. Thus the whole reason for the delay.

How do you get through all of the waiting?

I read a lot info on Russian adoption (I mean a lot) to be aware of what might come up. I quilt, I garden, blog design, I work a day and a 1/2 at our church and I build stuff. I won't say this has been the easiest thing in the world, but you make it through one day at a time.

What one bit of advice would you give to families just starting out on this journey?

I have more than one very important piece of advice. First, learn all you can about international adoption, Russian adoption (if that is your country) and connect with people who are going through the process currently. Either people in your home town or through message boards, or blogs. They will be an huge resource.
The other bit is not to set goals. Don't expect something to be done by a certain date. I actually learned this when we were trying to get pregnant. I kept saying, "If I get pregnant this month the baby will be born this month and we can or can't do this." Then the month would pass and I would get more and more depressed. With the adoption I have tried very hard not to set any specific goals. This helps from them passing by without the resolution you want.
Understand that there is very little about this process that you can actually control. You really must let go and just go for the ride. It makes it much smoother. Notice I didn't say less painful.


The mail bag is always open so if you have questions please feel free to send them along. One more thing that gets me through is helping other families.