The people that got us through

I bet you are expecting some kind of super fantastic adoption news. Too bad for you... there isn't any. In fact the news is pretty crappy. We thought we were going to have our paperwork filed to court last week hurling us into the final stages of this nightmare journey, but unfortunately that wasn't to be. The committee that signs the children's medical release forms is still not signing. Evidently they didn't get their shipment of shiny new Peruvian Ink. The good new is our facilitator is on them like a leech. This woman will get the job done. I have faith in that.

On over at Soul of Adoption there has been a thread posted about what song describes your adoption journey. I have 2. The first is "Life Means So Much" by Chris Rice. This song played over and over when we were starting out journey. I felt such pity for myself in my inability to get pregnant. I was angry when I saw the teenage mothers, the women yelling at their children, the people who accidentally got pregnant. I had prayed so hard and for so long for God to make me a mother. I was angry at God for not answering my prayers. This song was like the first message the Lord sent saying, "Hey, I'm working on it." In fact I had mentioned before that we recently realized that Pickle's birthday is right around the time we felt this unmistakable call to adopt. Funny thing is "Life Means So Much" started playing in my car and it was then that I finally accepted what we were being led to do. The song still applies, but there is one that is a little more appropriate right now.

It is also by Chris Rice and on the same album as "Life Means So Much." It is "Belong." This song brings tears to my eyes just reading the words.


This song describes my journey to my boy and my boy's journey to me. I feel knocked down and tired. I feel like there really is this monster looming over me. I cry out, "why was I picked for this journey? I can't do this!" But all the while my name is being called. And that place where I belong? It's motherhood. The place where Pickle belongs? Right here with me.

There is no more pity here. There is a tired and beaten down woman, but one that is damn determined to make it to the finish line.